"What horrifies me most is the idea of being useless: well-educated, brilliantly promising, and fading out into an indifferent middle age."
Sylvia Plath (via supercata)
The books that will move you, inspire you, make you cry, make you think, make you laugh. Are there any books that you would add?
1. There will be several days that you daydream about stepping in front of a city bus. Don’t. It will not be beautiful. It will not be brave. It will be selfish. It will be broken. Your mother will cry.
2. Don’t write for him. Write for you. Write for others like you. Write so the girl that thinks about stepping in front of public transportation doesn’t. Don’t be selfish.
3. When you will yourself to sleep and it doesn’t come- get up. It doesn’t matter that it’s 3 am. There will be other 3 am’s. Take a shower. Take two. Wash him out of your hair. Write a poem. Read the same book you’ve read 202 times again. The 203rd time might tell you something different. Don’t stay in bed- you will think about the bus again.
4. Don’t kiss him because he’s broken. Don’t kiss him because his laughter never reaches his eyes. Don’t try and fix him. Fix yourself first. Be selfish. He can’t save you.
5. Date yourself. Take yourself out to eat. Don’t share your popcorn at the movies with anyone. Stroll around an art museum alone. Fall in love with canvases. Fall in love with yourself.
6. Dress up and wear red lipstick and get drunk with your friends. They’re the ones that will pick you up. Don’t kiss him. Or him. Don’t fall asleep on strange couches with strange boys. When his hand slides up your dress walk away. Hit him. Don’t kiss him. He can’t save you.
7. Get another tattoo. Get five more. Get another hole in your ear. Don’t listen to your dad. You will still be able to get a job. Did you really want to be employed by someone like your father? Haven’t you had enough of judgmental old white men anyway? Get fuck you tattooed in tiny letters on your hip.
8. When you feel the yearning for a new city- start over. Take 200 bucks and a three suitcases. Work anywhere that will have you. Meet strange people and forget your name. Call yourself Ruby. No one will know the difference. Remember to call your mother. Don’t be selfish. Come home when you find yourself in the strangers and the small one bedroom apartment.
9. Don’t whisper evil things into your own ear. Other people are going to shout them at you. Be your own hero. Keep a sword on your key ring.
10. Don’t step in front of a city bus. It will not be beautiful. Live. Stay up all night with a boy that promises you everything and means it. Live. See shitty local bands with a friend. Wear a different band’s t-shirt. No one will care. Live. Have a baby girl with tiny fingers and tiny toes someday. Pour love into her until it’s overflowing. Live. Wake up. Staying in bed all day is not poetic.
Do you hear that? It’s me. It’s your life. Wake up."
"what doesn’t kill you
ruins your lungs
dries out all your tears
leaves you lying awake at 4 in the morning
wishing you weren’t alive"
"If there is a God, He will have to beg my forgiveness."
A phrase that was carved on the walls of a concentration camp cell during WWII by a Jewish prisoner (via dnwinchster)
“Every race carries a certain record of super-physical and subjective phenomenon through it’s blood stream, and it is these memories which manifest our race mythos and ancient origins. Through genetic memory we carry the entire lineage of former civilizations, gods, demi-gods, heroes and patriarchs. These entities, no matter how distant. cannot be forgotten; they are locked within the blood record - the subconscious mind.
As the blood reveals our past it, also, reveals our future, for within it are setup the vibrations and patterns by which the future estate of the race is to be determined. Blood has long been referred to as the “river of life”, coursing endlessly through the veins and arteries of our bodies and passed on to our children. But more than that, it is the vehicle for ethnic continuity, our consciousness and our natural salvation.
The race is the foundation of every great culture, and likewise, the blood is the foundation to every great race. Thus, in the unmixed blood is expressed the essential power of our ancestral being, which fortifies the character and essence of our present and potential being. The very blood which we possess today in our bodies is the undying, life liquid of countless centuries of history, the great arcanum of life.”
-Ron McVan, from “Temple of Wotan”
- lypophrenia: a feeling of sadness seemingly without a cause
- drapetomania: an overwhelming urge to run away
- escapism: a mental desire to retreat from unpleasant realities through fantasy
- wanderlust: a desire to travel, to understand one’s very existence
- dysania: the state of finding it difficult to get out of bed in the morning
- sanctuary: a small safe place in a troubling world
- metathesiophobia: fear of change